I received negative feedback what do I do next?!!

How you respond to criticism shows how stable or unstable your mental health really is. Wow! Is it really that serious, yes!! Let me explain.

Being in the beauty industry for over 16 years I’ve had my share of constructive criticism, unwanted reviews, or just down right nasty comments. Being overly concerned about my character and trying to uphold my integrity for the reputation of my business, my prior responses were for the most part professional but often left me feeling inadequate, misjudged, and like the truth would soon be uncovered about me... I really didn’t know what I was doing!

I lived on the positive response from others. It was like a high I would get when someone told me they were satisfied, I felt inferior. Not to often did the criticism come but when it came it was like dark cloud that lingered for days, weeks and sometimes months!

Deep down I knew it was impossible to make every single person happy but I secretly thought maybe I could lol. I could hear my mom’s voice replaying over in my head saying “Tasha not everyone is going to like you” and me with a crazy concerned look on my face asking “but why?” I knew she was right but how do I get past that very uncomfortable feeling of someone else’s unhappiness? I didn’t know how so I just pretended that those comments no longer bothered me.

It didn’t work! Like a tornado my mind would go back to wondering who else thought that way, what else am I not good at? So I would find myself asking other clients and people closest to me if they felt that way to. I learned that, that was not always the best idea. Some people don’t know how to have an opinion of their own (at that time me being one of them). So the conversation with those types of people ended up like “well maybe you should give her something free or maybe try harder next time”. Now I’m irritated I even asked for their opinion, it made those feelings of not enough even more prominent.

Not everyone had bad things to say I had a lot of great and encouraging feedback, but those negative ones whew child! They stung!

So how did I get to the point where I allowed others to have their own opinion of my personal work? I gave myself and others the opportunity to be human. All humans don’t think the same way, like the same things, or interact with the same people. All humans aren’t nice and all of them aren’t mean.

Allowing someone to have an opinion doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, and it doesn’t mean that what they say is true and what you say is false. It does means that their way of thinking maybe different from yours, and that’s ok.

I began rehearsing these words in my head every time I finished a client. “It’s beautiful, I did my best, she doesn’t have to love it and that’s ok.” I did this over and over for years! Now don’t get me wrong if there was something that someone asks me to change I had no problem fixing it, but sometimes that wasn’t enough... I even had a lady tell me she “hated it!” Lol! I think I busted out laughing when she said it because it was awkwardly funny in some kind of way.

My point is that when you have authentic confidence in yourself, your skills, and abilities you are not moved or offended by an opinion. It’s harder for me to get upset now that the validation no longer comes solely from compliments of people but from God. Not having the authentic confidence is playing pretend. Pretending is playing a game with your mind saying you are somewhere that you really and truly are not. That’s mental!

So instead of all the “make believe” swap it out for how dope your really are. List all of your strengths and awesomeness. Become aware of your negative thinking habits and replace them with positive ones. Arrive to the place where people can say whatever they would like to say and be ok with that, especially when you know the real truth. I am a BOSS! 😉

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